So much has been happening so quickly.
Last week, I began working from home part time and going into the office part time. I took the kids hiking on a nearby trail. I let the big one play with fire and try to melt crayons for art and I let the little one use all the cardboard he could find to create whatever it was he wanted to create.
This weekend we camped out in our backyard and made s’mores by the firepit.
Trying to put up the 3 room tent was so Chevy Chase – we waited too late and the sun was setting and all of the sudden the wind kicked up. It drizzled rain, we couldn’t find one of the poles, couldn’t get the rainfly to stay on, couldn’t get one of the legs to lock, and the stakes kept hitting rock. There were some tears and curse words, but we finally got it to stay up and spent the (cold) night in it, much to our son’s delight.
Today we found out that school is out until at least May 15th. I will be working from home another day (3 home/2 office) to be able to better facilitate a schedule and routine for the kids and to help them make sure they are getting whatever school work done that they are given.
We had chicken casserole tonight and played Clue.
I’ve made more “check in” phone calls and texts with friends and family this past week than I probably usually do in a month or two.
I feel sad for the losses and disappointments. I feel concerned for the welfare of so many. I feel cautious when I’m not at home. I feel grateful for the abundance in my life. I feel uneasy with the lack of true knowing and overwhelmed with the influx of information.
I see opportunities for growth and faith and peace and joy and love and generosity.
I see changes that we say are temporary but will likely be long term.
I feel an energy, a movement. A total shifting and a skin shedding.
I am not afraid, but I know that so many are. I do feel anxious in the waiting, just not fearful right now. But the anxiety can be distracting and defeating. I keep swatting it away, but I know that only works for so long.
I’m usually pretty good in a crisis, but if I’m not careful, I eventually burn out or busy myself with so many distractions that everything kind of becomes a huge cluster.
I want to be careful not to burn out in managing or burn up in running from the anxiety – this seems too critical a time to allow that of myself if I can at all prevent it. Things that have worked in the past: diary/journal/blog, music, creating, being outside, walking/working out, prayer, crying, doing nice things for others/giving love, being just a little weird (like to just weird enough to feel free, not so weird that people want to disown me).
So, how are you?
bonus dog pic. always helpful.
